Monday
Court hearing today. Guess what? I’m staying with the Hopes!!! For the ‘indefinite future’! Everyone was hugging when it was announced – I feel safe for the first time in years. At last, my Christmas is going to be with a real family.
Wednesday
Jermaine asked me about Nicky today. I told him she’s got the flu (she’s actually just skiving off college). He said to ask her if he could see her. I was very cool with him, I
Sunday
Just as ‘Menina Gorda’ had told me, she was under the pier with her little brother. Felix, that is. They were actually planning on staying there the night, despite the fact that Alejandro was turning into a block of ice before my very eyes, and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be to convince Felix to go home. I told her all about how the Social Services and the Police would get involved - I should know after all, and I made her feel guilty by telling
Monday
Nicole and I went to the cinema today, watched Casino Royale - awesome!! Most fun we’ve ever had! Well, the first time we’d had fun together at all. I never thought I could ever enjoy myself while any of that family was in my life, boy was I wrong!
Tuesday Nicole is upset and annoyed with me today – I was rude to Jermaine at the bus stop because of what he did to Nicole, and she feels that I was wrong; she felt I was interfering in personal
Sunday
I slept under the pier last night and I remembered the past. Those darts of pain and uncertainty. But somewhere in a niche in my mind the few times that I had been happy when I lived with ma came through. I saw the birthday cake I got for my sixth birthday, the same time she gave me that necklace. I didn’t get much sleep due to the moaning drunks, so I thought about those times, when ma wasn’t shaking, or high, or scrounging for her next fix.
I spent
Monday
I saw Edward today, we’re both embarrassed. God, I’ve been so stupid!! I avoided conversation with him even though he made a few attempts to speak to me, probably trying to make things seem alright between us, but I can’t face him at present, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too awkward! If I turn away from him and ignore what I’ve done, he’ll forget about it. I tried to speak to Felix today, but she just didn’t want to know, why does my life
Sunday
I saw Felix in town today, she blanked me. Why? Because I bailed on her. What did she expect me to do? I’d slipped her the wallet so I wouldn’t get caught. I am about to turn sixteen! Sixteen in my world means everything. If I’m not careful and if I don’t appear as the perfect child, I can and most likely will be thrown out. So, she gets a going at by her parents? It’s not like they can throw her out. On reflection, perhaps I should try to
Monday
At the bus stop, that dough-baked scut Harley was slagging the fat girl off, so I stuck up for her, as she obviously can’t stand up for herself. When I got home after a boring school day, Nicole was still ranting about her missing money – totally making out that I’m a thief. Clearly, she feels that I’m given too much attention. I had to make her shut up so I planted a tenner under her bed and then pretended to find it. The reaction was spot on. The
Monday
I’ve been avoiding Chris. I know he’ll put on the pressure again. I just can’t go through with it. We’ve come close a few times, but I’ve seen the results of doing it too early. That’s how I got here.
Tuesday
Social worker visited today. Fantastic (!) What do they expect me to tell them? They ask me the same things every time - how am I feeling at the moment? - How am I getting on at school? - How do I feel I’m
Monday
Great start to a new school – we were late! There was a big accident at the bus stop, some girl got run over. I didn’t really see what happened, I was busy tying up my bootlace when it all kicked off. I tried to go and help, but Nicole (the dough-baked girl I have to live with) pushed me back and told me to stay out of it. Afterwards, two boys at the bus stop had a fight, because one of them (very posh voice) said he thought the other one had pushed
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